Once, I had a dream...

11:32pm: School has once again consumed my life, as has archery. On the brighter side, I'm not bored. Ugh. School would be better without papers due all at the same time. Have a mission statement paper due tomorrow, 15 page paper on Food History due Tuesday, Outline for another 15 page psych paper due Thursday, and the 15 page psych paper due the 31st. Just peachy. I did ask for this amount of work didn't I? At least I'm doing well. I haven't seen this many A-'s since high school...and that was a while ago.

It's also really weird being young in my cohort. I don't mean just age young, but maturity young too. It's very strange when we get to psych because it's an adolescent psych class, because mentally, I am sure as hell not out of adolescence yet (although it has been predicted that I will be moving to adulthood somewhere in the next few years, hence me still going to school for a history masters). But weird, weird,weird! Especially when we were talking about the internet.

Watched the Frontline video "Growing Up Online". It was scary to everyone else to see the amount of internet usage teenagers were using, and this creation of a whole other persona online; it was scary to me because I was pretty much one of the teenagers interviewed, even though I totally empathized with the parents. And now that I think about it...Tiger and Sonia are two very very different people. Which is why Haldir only speaks to them one at a time.

Yeah...another sign of adolescence...the imaginary audience. It's either the wacky elf or everyone else reading this thing!

Haldir *glares* Must we keep on with these conversations?

Sonia *looks very innocent* which? Two people here.

Haldir: The ones I keep having with you. Finish your paper!

Sonia: Oh bugger off, it's halfway there. Expand on this and that. It'll be fine.

Haldir: If it's so simple, then sit down and finish it.

Sonia: I'm tired?

Haldir: Says the young lady who finished two of the Little House Books.

Sonia: Research for food history! Valuable information on pioneer food culture in those books!

Haldir *looks up* Why do I keep doing this?

Sonia: Because I can make you go away. Shoo!

Haldir *poofs*

Sonia: Finally. Some peace and quiet! :)

Don't worry folks. He'll be back. Probably on the last day of classes.

11:43pm: Grad School!
So far, Brandeis grad has been awesome. Well, the classes and professors have been awesome. The commute is another story.

Day 1) Sonia forgot that she doesn't go to Wellesley anymore. So, she was very, very, late to orientation because she thought that she was supposed to be in Pendleton at Wellesley instead of the Shapiro Academic Complex at Brandeis.

But the class was cool. It's kind of like the EDUC301 class at Wellesley, but because it's at a graduate level, there's more depth to it. It's also a different class composition since a) there are boys in the class (gasp! That took some getting used to by the Wellesley Woman) and b) about half the class didn't just graduate from college, so there are so many different experiences due to age difference. It's absolutely fascinating. The class readings, though long, are very interesting as it really made me think about the different aspects of education policy both within my own experience and in general.

Day 2) Apparently, the State of Massachusetts decided to do some construction on Rt. 128. I didn't know! So it took me 45 min to get to Brandeis. From Westwood. It's not supposed to take that long! Only half that time! Yuck. So of course...I was late to my first history class.

But the history class was sooooo cool! There are only five of us, so there's more room for discussion and argument. It's quite refreshing really, because I have someone to really argue with. I think the professor is relatively amused by the fact that I play devil's advocate most of the time. And that I went off on how the author just couldn't stick to either the standard pinyin system or the Wade-Giles spelling system for the China portion. Trust me, that drove me nuts. That and the fact that the author pretty much went "most of the Asian cultures except for Japan were hopeless from an economic standpoint, and Europe, especially Britain, rules all." The book is The Wealth and Poverty of Nations by David Landes. It's a good book in that I did learn quite a bit about macro-economics from reading it, and it provided an interesting question about world history with some valid conclusion. However, execution left something to be desired. The author was a bit insensitive to non-Western cultures. It's mostly in his implications and connotations and such. But I've already argued as much as I wanted to on that one earlier today. For two hours. Loooong classes. But highly enjoyable.

The psych class is rather interesting. Talking all about adolescence and such. And having to think back to what life was like in middle school and high school and how maybe our own experiences can have class theories apply to it. Hmmm...wouldn't mind reliving either high school or middle school. Much more time for fun reading than I do now. Book a week, paper a week for various classes....

I really missed this though. Going to school, doing homework, being only a student for however short of a time I will be one. I love it. I'll grumble over the amount of work I have, but when you get right down to it, I love it. I love learning, and I never want to stop learning. This is coming from someone who desperately wishes that she could be a student for the rest of her life. As that financially cannot happen, I'll settle for getting two masters before I'm 26!

11:15pm: Ramble ramble ramble...(Twilight and other stuff)
Sonia, you start grad school on Monday. You have 130 more pages to read from The Wealth and Poverty of Nations before you go to sleep tonight, and get started on that paper due for the other class. The book is actually good, the paper won't take more than two hours to write since it's really only just about your favorite teacher anyways.

So why are you sitting in front of a word document writing fanfiction?

Answer:
Because I was reading some different perspectives about the Twilight series, that really did get me thinking. Edward and Bella are by no means perfect, and neither is the series. But they have potential. I'm a romantic at heart, which means that as childish as it sounds (I am after all 21, and a graduate from Wellesley College who should have more practical sense), I really can see Edward/Bella as something workable despite what they have going against them. I want to see how they work out, because I am an optimist at heart. I don't like a lot of angst and stuff. Like Meyers, I am someone who likes a happy ending. I even like happy endings that are neatly wrapped up in a little red bow. Twilight for all of its good and bad, is like a form of escape for me...you know, something tangible that says "hey, everything will work out, and you'll be happy at the end of it". For someone who really, really, wants to get away from stress, it's a really nice read. Edward (and all of his flaws) isn't so bad either :) Yeah...dazzled by a fictional vampire.

It was an extremely superficial relationship at first, but after the whole Jacob issue, it turned into something more. Bella isn't perfect, good, she's human, and that makes her interesting in that she has the potential to evolve. She's also, what, 18? Doesn't matter that a grown woman is writing from Bella's point of view, she's still 18 and just about as sheltered as any 18 year old can get. She hasn't had to really deal with the consequences of her actions. Everything has happened to her so fast that things haven't really caught up with her until the end of Eclipse. I can kinda see where Bella is coming from...and I can definitely see where I would want her to go. I agree with most people who say that Bella is a relatively weak character throughout most of the series. But she's also the typical 17/8 year old who is head over heels for someone. She's not done growing up yet, whether she chooses to marry Edward when she's 18 or 38.

So the fanfiction I've stuck myself with? Bella growing up. Because she needs to.

And hey...I might just grow up with her too.

10:41pm: Ok...this is frustrating me.

Has anyone ever heard of a Chinese metal band called "Black September"?

I've googled, wiki'ed, yahooed...no info.

Help?

2:50am: Such a good day to be from Boston.

Yay Celtics!

7:34pm: *bangs head*

It's Friday night.

My sister is back at UCLA.

I'm still at work.

*bangs head*

I know...I need the funds to go to Outdoor Nationals. You know, plane tickets and such *shudders*

But I finished both of the books I brought with me.

Thank goodness for fanfiction.

Haldir *glares* I'm not even going to try this time.

Tiger *nods absent-mindedly*

Haldir *sighs* She'll grow up some day...she'll grow up someday...

9:00pm: Stephanie Meyer has a talent for ripping my heart out in the middle of her books. First New Moon and now The Host. Yikes. I'm still trying to let my heart recover. I don't think it's quite back in me yet.

For those of you interested, The Host is much better written than most of the Twilight books (although I will definitely take Edward over Jared any day!). It's still very character driven, but it's also a subtle observation of humanity. It's quite interesting.

As much fun as I'm having reading though, I'm starting to look forward to going to school again. I know, it's the teacher in me. I love the classrooms!

1:02am: Things I have discovered in the past few months...
That I just have to share!

Books
Twilight, the series and The Host by Stephanie Meyer
Garden Spells and The Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen
The Sigma Force novels (start with Map of Bones) by James Rollins
The Expected One by Kathleen McGowan
Chrysalis by Heather Terrell
The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan
Salt, A World History by Mark Kurlansky
Interred With Their Bones by Jennifer Lee Carrell
The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Settersfield
Daughter of the Sun by Barbara Woods
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver
Rebecca's Tale by Sally Beauman
The Bellstone by Michael Kalafatas
Fork It Over by Alan Richman

Music
The Hip-Hop Violinist Miri Ben-Ari
Atargatis
Visions of Atlantis
Darkwell
Diablo Swing Orchestra
Wang Lee Hom
Luo Zhi Xiang (Alan Show)
Worlds Collide Apocalyptica
Here Lies One Whose Name Was Written In Water Aesma Daeva

Movies
National Treasure II
No Reservations
Indiana Jones IV
The Ritchie Boys
John Adams Miniseries
Corner With Love Taiwan Drama
Gandhi
Shop Around the Corner

So if you're really bored this summer...

*shrugs*

Just suggestions!

7:11pm: And now, back to sanity
Yeah...loooong workday today. Can't you tell?

I've been finally placed for student teaching next year. I get to teach three grades, freshman, sophomores, and juniors. Yes! Variety! And now, I must brush up on my US history and learn an entire semester's worth of Art History. Yes, Art History. Nevermind the fact that I've never taken the damn class before. Don't ask me how I got placed into that one. But hey, the school is awesome! I got told that hey, if I wanted to make my kids watch an episode of Star Trek for every chapter I did, it was fine as long as it was relevant to the chapter. Schweet!!!! I'm serious, I would! My proudest accomplishment this year at WHS was getting all 75 of my history students to watch Patterns of Force, get most of them to like it, and write in-depth reviews of how the episode connected to WWII. :D

Fanfiction aside, summer has been going well. At least I've got my archery tournament dates lined up. So far, the tournaments I finished were USIACs (collegiate Nationals. Went well, had fun, learned to shoot in the rain, met lots of awesome people, and beat most of the Stanford archery team! HA! Sorry, Sam...), and Gold Cup (don't ask, but spent time with the Proline peeps so it was all good). Coming up are Baystates and Outdoor Nationals. I know! Amazing! After 21 years, I FINALLY get to go on a plane by myself, no family, no parents! You know? Those moments when you actually feel like a grown up...

*sits on hands* Waiting for my new bow to come in...waiting for my new bow to come in...

7:03pm: Haldir *bangs on door* Tiger! I demand you open your door this instant!

Tiger: It's my room and I can do what I want with it!

Haldir *rolls eyes* It's a beautiful day outside, you are not going to spend your entire day in your room, which is well over 90 degrees I might add, reading fanfiction!

Tiger: Haldir...if I wasn't into fanfiction, you wouldn't be standing outside of my door trying to knock it down.

Haldir: That's different. Lord of the Rings is a perfectly acceptable world for an adult. Twilight is a different matter. The characters from Twilight are in high school for Illuvatar's sake! Open your door or I'll call the werewolf!

Tiger *sighs* I'm coming, no need to play nasty here. I hate the werewolf. *opens door* Your point being?

Haldir: You're on summer vacation. Will you please do something besides read fanfiction?

Tiger: Fine *starts reading a murder mystery*

Haldir *takes book away*

Tiger: Hey!

Haldir: Get out of your room! *points at the door*

Tiger *moves just outside the door frame* Can I have my book back now?

Haldir *scowls* No. Do something besides read. Go shoot your bow, you have a tournament coming up.

Tiger *pales* Oh no...Baystates...

4:46pm: Wellesley Alum
It's been a weird past two days.

1) to whoever I was supposed to meet yesterday...I'm sorry I couldn't...I spent most of the day in the infirmary

2) I graduated today! I am now officially a Wellesley Alum. Wow. That makes me feel old. I don't feel like I've graduated. But I'm sure it'll hit when I start summer school at Brandeis (Brandeis Grad woohoo!) instead of Wellesley.

And that's the short of it.

On a fandom note: Still obsessed with Twilight. Sorry Lani, still haven't budged from a shipping standpoint.

HP fandomness for me is kind of dying out. On the brighter side, I keep kicking around this archery story for LOTR.

*sighs*

Did I really graduate? Goodness. I'm an actual adult now. *gasps*

6:06pm: Reflections...
It's funny...odd almost, to write in here again. Once I've started, I can't stop. It's as if I just found a friend again and I have to spill everything. It's almost as if I've never stopped writing.

Nothing much happened today. Just a lot of Twilight-y stuff and reflection.

It's weird, you know. I'm almost done with Wellesley as a student. Just three more days to go, and then I'm officially a Wellesley Alum. Time flies by so, so quickly. I almost have to stop and pinch myself and wonder if I'm dreaming. The end is so different from the beginning, but so much of it is the same.

I still love history, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, and most of Harry Potter. I still love the idea of how science works and the idea of being a doctor. I still shoot my bright red bow, and I'm still great friends with Gaurav. I'm the same size now as four years ago, I still wear rings, love earrings, and Nancy Drew. My hair is the same and so is my smile. I laugh and cry at the same things...I still cry and cringe when Woody pushes Buzz out of the window in Toy Story. I love my archery friends, but I love my school friends too.

Then why does everything still feel so different? I don't want to graduate...I don't every want to move on from college. If anything, I wish I could relive my first two years again. Wouldn't have finished my bio major, no. But I wouldn't have come so close to failing either. Hindsight is 20/20. If I have any regrets from the last four years, I only have two. I wish I didn't waste my first two years of college, in terms of time and money. Going to a good school means nothing if I don't try at anything. Since would have come in useful later if I did well, but now, I'd just have to start all over again. In some ways, I don't mind, I love being a college student and some of the pressures that come with it. But I know now, that unless some miracle happens, I won't have the time.

I wish that I didn't lose touch with all of my friends when I moved back home. But it hurt, knowing that they got to do the things I couldn't do because I had labs and curfews. It hurt to move away from the feeling of independence I had my first year. It just hurt to move back to who I was before I moved out. I missed the craziness of the dorm, the friendships I made, and by the time I realized that, it was too late. Everyone had moved on, everyone but me.

In a strange way, I'm happy I'm done. The pressure's off now. I don't have to be a doctor. I get to teach, and my student teaching was exhilarating, as difficult as it was. I'm immersed in history, immersed in stories and books, and I couldn't be happier.

I'm not done being a student yet...but I'm ready to move on from Wellesley now, as sad as I'll be.

Haldir...you can come back now...I need someone to talk to.

3:06am: I should also mention that I've been gone for so long...Journal entries on my friends page have kind of exploded...

So...I would love to know what you guys have been up to!

Drop a comment or email...

2:31am: What I've Been Up To...
Here's the short of it for those who are interested:

1) Had an absolutely wonderful time student teaching. Loved all of my kids and the experience for the most part. Learned a hell of a lot of things about history and life in general. Those people are smarter than most people give them credit for.

2) Lots and lots and lots and lots of archery. Like close to twelve hours of week. Ouch, I know. But I'm a whole lot better now! My indoor scores have gone up (very close to breaking 500 now thank goodness). Shot my first two outdoor tournaments this year. Collegiate Outdoor Nationals (placed somewhere near the middle) and Gold Cup (don't ask). But I've been doing well, and am very happy with where I currently am in the sport. New bow coming in soon! The Win&Win Inno...dark red with pretty accesories. Very excited. Especially for the new sight!

3) Spent the past week completely engrossed in the Twilight universe. For those of you interested, I am currently very firmly entrenched in the Edward/Bella camp and I completely agree with what Stephanie Meyer says (unlike JKR, she actually makes sense!)

Haldir is lurking in a corner over here. He's sulking because I haven't talked to him since January. I really should fix that soon shouldn't I?

2:28pm: Wow. It's been a long time. It's been a long time since I've actually had time to go online and do something other than research for class or teaching.

Amazing.

HELLO!

9:45pm: Time Flies!
Oh my god, it's almost the end of January! Things have just been really busy as of late. Trip to Taiwan, getting over the jetlag that came from said trip, going to high school again (but on the other side of the desk, so to speak), working a lot more than usual, READING...all that fun stuff.

And I start teaching in almost exactly one week. I've decided to be a little gutsy. I won't panic that way. I have an interesting curriculum structure. Three hundred years of Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Latin American, Russian, and Middle Eastern history in one go (so each "nationality" is its own unit, which is utterly cool and much easier to teach), then I plunge into the causes of World War Two, the War itself, and then I'm done! Wow...it looks much better when I write it like that.

Planning everything out has been interesting. I have found that I am definitely more of a lecture and discuss type of teacher. It's not that I don't like games or anything (because Jepordy is great and everyone wants to win extra test points), but I keep thinking that these kids will have fun arguing too. Besides, I want them to think out of the box rather than in it.

In other news: http://www.paramount.com/startrek/

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sonia is going to the midnight showing. Saw pictures of Karl Urban as Dr. McCoy...I can see the resemblence. Wow. I can't wait! New official Star Trek!

12:19am: My poor coach!

He puts up with so much from me. At least he knows I'm rather insane at the moment, what with writing one paper after another and such.

I just told him I was going to convert him. Funky reply.

Then I said something along the lines of Klingon painsticks and day of honor rituals. You know, eating targ hearts, drinking bloodwine, and recounting/reenacting tales of glorious battles beforehand. And to smile when you eat the gagh.

At least EG is as cuckoo as I am!

And now, I need to smile when I try to write this stupid paper...........

7:17pm: I'm tired.

I have one more essay and about five lesson plans (plus paper) to go.

Due at around 3AM Thursday.

I so should have taken up my dad's offer of staying an extra day or two to finish exams and such.

And of course, I would be procrastinating.

I've found that I have a thing for Naomi/Icheb from the Voyager universe. Been reading way too many fanfics...and I've started what might turn out to be episodic.

Still trying to finish my LOTR fic. But somehow, Aragorn does not want to coroporate.

Can plan, can't execute.

As the journal entry and four weeks apparently shows.

That and I need a computer that will actually charged when plugged into the wall without any cord jiggling.

Hmmm....

10:27pm: Had a lovely chat with Mom tonight about all sorts of things.

Conclusion:

Considering the fact that I hate papers and I think way way way too big sometimes even for history...Sonia should have been a math major. I'm actually looking at the required Wellesley courses for the math major, and they are quite appealing.

Just think, had I gone with multivariable calculus rather than statistics (and pure mathematical statistics at that), I might have been a math major rather than a history major. Or even something like mathematical history.

Damn!

Well, the nice thing is, Mom is willing to lend me some financial support to do a fifth year program for a math major at Wellesley maybe right after graduate school so I can teach math in addition to history.

One more year or two of being a student? Who am I to pass up an oppurtunity like that????? I'd be absolutely insane to!

11:20pm: *headdesks*
Haldir: Tiger, do you ever think before you leave your house?

Tiger *sits in front of laptop meekly* No?

Haldir *fumes* You have a paper due in THIRTY minutes, and you left your book at home????

Tiger: I was working on it this morning.

Haldir: Working on the research you were supposed to have finished last night!

Tiger *raises hands* I'm almost done, half way through, halfway through!

Haldir *raises eyebrow* Do I look like your father?

Tiger: Uh...

Haldir: Don't answer that. What are you doing writing here???? At least you can cite the opposing arguments, what's so hard about this book review?

Tiger: It's a research book review. Tiger does not write nonfiction well, review or otherwise.

Haldir *points to computer clock* Work

Tiger: But what about The Fall of Rome and the End of Civilization?

Haldir: It will be the end of your grade if you don't start finishing it. *points arrow*

Tiger *sighs* Going...going...

My stupidity knows no bounds...

12:52pm: Sticks and stones will break my bones,
But words will never hurt me.

You took the cowards way out.

bortaS bIr jablu'DI' reH QaQqu' nay'
Revenge is a dish best served cold

I assure you, this dish will be frozen.

11:45pm: Movie Review: Fearless, Jet Li, China 2006
Let's face it, I cry a little bit at everything. I suppose sniffle might be the better word. But I was sobbing from pride for China and Huo Yuan Jia (Jet Li).

This movie depicts perfectly, without going into too much gory detail, how China was extremely adversely affected by western Imperialism. Chinese fighters forced to fight Western fighters (in matches that I suspect were quite unfair) so that the Western Imperialist powers (and here I include Japan) could humiliate and truly dominate China. Huo Yuan Jia is a Chinese folk hero, and those Fearless greatly fictionalizes his life, it only speaks to the power of his memory. In a nation weakend by external forces, one man could help it back up to its feet, even if it meant making unquestionable sacrifices.


In addition, the cinematography, acting, music, everything is beautiful. It is one of Jet Li's greatest movies, it stands right up there with Once Upon A China and Fong Sai Yuk.

Go see the movie, words are not enough to describe it.

12:31am: Wow that just sounded a tad bit whiny.

I really, really just meant to say that I've finally found a group of people that I'm totally comfortable with. And I'm really, really happy :)

12:09am: Wow, so much Harry Potter crap in the past week. Seriously, my estimation of JKR as a writer just went waaaay down.

Honestly, if you're still telling LOTS of people what you think a majority of them should have figured out over the course of seven books, don't you think you ought to go back and look at what you were missing?

I'm referring specifically to the ship wars. I still fully contend that Harry/Hermione were the best match. I never noticed an "intense" connection between Harry and Ginny, between them, I saw brush offs and hero worship. Connection my ass. But Harry and Hermione had an intense connection as friends, and possibly otherwise throughout the course of seven books. Ron and Hermione having fun bickering? No. Hermione having a maturity that Ron didn't have? Maybe, but not always, she was pretty damn immature in some parts as well. But Hermione literally having other things that Harry lacks? Yes.

Oh...and don't you find it funny that she equates her husband with Harry, Herself as Hermione, and yet, she can't see why more than half of her fans can't figure out why Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny *shudders* don't work?

Pitiful. My readings of Harry Potter have been strictly relegated to the first five books.

11:13pm: Baystates
Baystates went very well. I shot 461/600 with an injured arm (possible carpel tunnel/tendon problem), managed to avoid Anthony, and had a grand old time.

Eg is my new coach, and I love him! It's great to be able to shoot a tournament and have a coach that I feel completely comfortable with (because he's wonderful like that) and one who coaches me both mentally and physically.

Came in 3/5, James won his division, and everyone from Brandeis medaled, wheeee! Oh forgot, am on the Brandeis Team as an Assistant Coach now due to differences with the captain of the Wellesley Team. It's been great. But I still love Wellesley and want to shoot for my school eventually. Was rather disappointed that no one from the team showed up. OI.

But it was a good day.